The BFE family meets the rich (but not famous)

You can take the people out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the people.

We aren’t a swanky family. We don’t have high-end clothes. I don’t own any expensive jewelry other than my wedding band set. We don’t eat at fancy restaurants.

So picture this scenario:

A family of five from BFE.

Mom wearing her “Gold & Silver” pawn T-shirt and Army green pants, carrying her Army-printed  green purse while holding the hand of 3-year-old son wearing swishy pants and a sweatshirt.

The husband (who looked the best) holding the hand of 3-year-old daughter who was sporting her horse themed sweater and purple high top boots (which remind me of Bozo the Clown); along with the 9-year-old son (who looked the second best in the bunch) walking through SAKS FIFTH AVENUE in Beachwood Place.

As we walked in, we grabbed our children’s hands. We almost got to the point of telling them not to breathe inside the store.

As we passed through the makeup department, I felt eyes looking at us. I pretended I was looking for something important (like an exit). We strolled past the Bobbie Brown makeup counter. I cried.

We shuffled past the shoe department. I have never been so close to Jimmy Choo in my entire life! I sighed. But soon realized unless the shoes are Nike, Crocs or any brand of FLATS, I would fall on my ass or break my ankle (or both in one quick swoop).

We puttered on past the Coach purses. I looked at my $5 “Big Lots” purse I was carrying full of crap. I giggled to myself. None of my stuff would fit into a teeny tiny Coach purse! I think my eyeglass case alone was bigger than some of those purses!

Finally, we found our correct destination – the Lego Store (we ASSumed we had to go through Saks to find Legoland). We were in Legoland for at least 30 minutes. After that, I took the 3-year-old girl to a store to buy a $10 purse in the shape of a grape with sparkles on it. She was in heaven.

We were in the mall for an hour, maybe a little more because most of the time we spent walking around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find the Lego store, and bathrooms.

By the time the hour passed, we were starving.

We found ourselves sitting in a restaurant where it seems as though “everyone knows your name.” No, it wasn’t “Cheers” it was TGI Fridays – where EVERY day is a Friday! It was high-time we felt “normal” as the children fought over crayons and what to order. I guess they were tired of being “prim and proper” for the day.

I had to give them credit – at least none of them had a major meltdown in Saks Fifth Avenue because chances are I would have walked away, leaving them with my husband and pretended none of them were mine.