Finding the perfect Mother’s Day card

"Just Mom and Me"
“Just Mom and Me”
As I was browsing the Mother’s Day card selection at my local grocery store today (in peace since the Big Bird was watching my kids in his “nest), I was sadly disappointed they didn’t have the card to fit the relationship between my mother and I.
Therefore, Hallmark, next year, take note and have a card that says this:
Dear MMMMMOOOMMM (And, this MOM needs to be “yelled” since she is always telling me, with hand signals to “take it down a notch” with my voice),
Thank you for everything, because Lord knows, I was not an easy child.
You and dad should have known you were in for a whirl-wind of trouble when I decided to arrive on what is still the most talked about snowstorm in Ohio – THE BLIZZARD OF 1978. (Sorry that you had to spend your 25th birthday in the hospital, eating hospital food by the way.)
Thank you for taking care of me as a newborn and baby – I am sure I was a demanding child, but funny, you don’t seem to remember those times, so maybe I am hallucinating?
Let’s flash-forward to my youth.
I am sorry that I tried to run away with my Strawberry Shortcake suitcase when we lived on Power Dam Road. I realized it was next to impossible to get out of those windows.
Thank you for pounding my back on the living room floor and for all the “steam showers” you gave me when I had horrible, horrible asthma attacks. (I am still not over the nasty-ass medicine you forced me to take by chasing me around the kitchen, until I was in a corner.) I will also never forget the night you stayed by me in the hospital when the “mean” nurses had to change the IV from my right arm to my left arm, and I am pretty sure I screamed and woke up the entire floor.
Thank you for sticking up for me when the second grade teacher wanted to know “Why does Melissa always blow her nose?” – “She has ALLERGIES!”
Thank you for watching me play basketball (that still makes me giggle because I was terrified of the ball) and for attending the never-ending softball games at Bronson Park.
Thank you for supporting my desire to be a Blue Dolphin swimmer and attending 4 hour long swim meets, when I typically didn’t swim until the very end.
Thank you for being there for me when I started Junior High and that “unwanted” guest arrived in September of that school year. I was devastated by HER.
Thank you for teaching me how to read and to let me know how important reading is to an education – I am pretty certain you are the reason I was in honor’s reading throughout my schooling, and English too.
I am sorry I was such a hormonal teenage and wanted to go to “JAMMERS” when I reached 16. Thank you for keeping me home. I went there before I married Seth, and it wasn’t all that It was cracked up to be. I am sorry for having “diaherra mouth” nearly every day from the age of 13 until … … … (Don’t worry, I am getting paid back in full with your grandchildren). I am sorry for slamming my door and blaring the music at ear-piercing decibels. (Still getting paid back now).
Thank you for being there for me when I went off to college; graduated; got married; and had children. You were my rock and stood by me through it all.
The truth is mom, I don’t know how you survived – what was your secret?
Please feel free to share it with me … but you may have to shout it at me since I can’t hear after listening to the music so loud, but don’t worry, I will try not to shout it back to you!