“What are little boys made of?” — Finding the source of THE SMELL

“What are little boys made of?”

The nursery rhyme answered my question eons ago … during the 19th Century to be exact.

Depending on the version you read, they are either made of “frogs and snails and puppy dog tails.”

Girls, of course, are always made of “sugar and spice and all things nice.”

This nursery rhyme set boys up for failure a long time ago, but it also nailed the odor – boys smell like, well, ass.

The last time my oldest smelled nice was when he was born. Back then, I made sure he had the “baby smell” – you know the one, it’s addictive and moms everywhere are always seen smelling and kissing their sons heads.

But then something happens as they age.

They simply begin to smell.

This morning, when I went into my oldest son’s bedroom, I almost passed out. I just went in to open his shade, but I really wanted to knock out the window and let the smell of fresh worms and fish into his room instead – but here in Ohio, we are experiencing rain in buckets, so that wasn’t an option. So, while the worm and fish smell would have been an improvement, I settled for spraying Lysol – OVER EVERY INCH OF THE BEDROOM.

I am hoping it killed anything lurking or living under his bed or in his closet.

Why do boys smell?

He bathes nightly and wears deodorant, but my God … nothing is working!

And I know I am not the only mother in the world experiencing this new scent.

All of my friends who have boys are reporting the same scent.

The only conclusion is boys simply smell until they met a girl and realize the need for cologne. But even then, the cologne is just masking the boy smell. I guess we should be thankful for cologne makers.

How do teachers put up with this smell coming from pre-teens? I could never be a teacher day in and day out around smelly, little pre-teens. I would have to air fresheners hanging all over my classroom and plug-ins in every outlet (which I am sure is against school policy).

So, until my oldest begs to wear cologne, I will just enter his room each morning wearing a gas mask and pray I don’t pass out.