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My December Saturday

The clock read 8:15 a.m.

I finally had the chance to sleep in today. It was wonderful.

After saying fare-thee-well to my in-laws (who are awesome), I drank two cups of coffee and did two crossword puzzles (I am slowly becoming my grandparents).

I did all of that while sitting on my ass in front of the television where Seth and I began pondering on whether or not we outta buy the Pressure Cooker XL. (We didn’t buy it … but we thought long and hard … figured the nearly $200 investment wasn’t that great for something that got mixed reviews.) Plus, will it really make me want to actually COOK? That’s not a risk I am willing to take.

Eventually, I got off my ass and showered.

That’s all I did. I didn’t do my hair or “put on my face.” It’s all natural baby! Don’t be jelly!

And then something happened.

A co-worker thinks I have adult ADHD. It’s a running joke in our newsroom. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a joking matter, but if you have been following me for the past five years or so, you know me well enough to know that he telling me this doesn’t offend me. I also know that it’s a real medical condition and that people suffer from it (don’t read more into this than you outta …).

Anywho, I decided against my better judgement to bake cookies. My grandma used to bake the most mouth-watering treats. We’d literally would fight over her cookies. She doesn’t bake anymore, so I attempted to bake sugar cookies today.

Dear heavens above, they were the most ass-tasting cookies I have EVER made!

After I baked the ass-cookies, the twins decorated them. Then they tried them – over the trash can – where the cookies ultimately ended up after the tasting. My oldest ate his over the trash, told me it was gross and finished it anyways.

He must love me … a lot.

The ass-cookies are now on a plate – awaiting the arrival of my aunt and uncle who promised to try them. I have a legal form ready for them to sign in case they get food poisoning.

After that crappy experience, I decided to make home-made Christmas gifts. Fucking Pinterest hates me.

I had two wine bottles … that I painted and then wrote the words “Noel” and “Snow” on them. I ended up having to repaint “Noel” because a kindergarten student has better handwriting skills than I will ever possess. The “Snow” bottle remained.

Then I opted to make my brother and cousin signs for their house.

Um … thank God for extra paint, because those bitches have been repainted more times than I can count since I had to write on the blank canvases (see the above paragraph).

But you know what, I had a fantastic day with my family. And that is all that truly matters in December.

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