Kids are gross.
I just spent 10 minutes, maneuvering my body in ways I never imaged while on my son’s top bunk. There I proceeded to scrape snot off the walls.
True story. I even used a SOS-type pad to remove even the hardest stuck-on goo.
Apparently walking the four steps to the ground is too much for him. Plus, he would have to walk an extra five steps to the bathroom where the tissues are kept.
It’s just too much for a tired 8-year-old boy.
Now, he has a mini tissue box stuffed in the corner of his bunkbed. Mounds of tissue will begin to accumulate any night now and will litter the bed like freshly fallen snow.
This comes about three hours after I asked my daughter, KK, why her hair has been greasy ever since Dec. 20.
To which she replied, “I only wash it with conditioner … that way I only have to touch my hair once, instead of twice.”
She now has “shampoo-plus-conditioner in one” now to avoid any confusion on whether or not she needs to wash or just conditioner her curly hair.
(Blame all goes to my husband, Seth, on this one. I have straight-thin-as-an-arrow-hair while he has the beautiful, thick curly hair that our oldest, Ethan and KK inherited.)
I’m not entirely sure what happened over Christmas break, but my husband and I learned a lot about our children.
Mainly, they would rather do anything than worry or care about personal hygiene.
Even the teenager is tossed into the mix.
He is on a mission to grow his hair. I’m not sure how long this will last, but I have told him repeatedly that if he grows his hair long enough, I will cut it and make it into a usable wig for myself.
I give him to the end of this week before he is begging for a trip to the local barbershop. (Peer pressure from his classmates is going to win this non-battle-battle of haircare.)
Usually lack of personal hygiene care only shows its dirty head in the summer months.
But, in the summer, noses rarely run and since we have a swimming pool, showers, hence hair-washing, only takes place every couple days.
Don’t judge – in our house, if you are in the pool for an extended period of time, especially within the hour before bed, there’s no need for a real shower. Sure, sure, I know all about chlorine … but sometimes, kids just need to be kids. Besides, I survived just fine. Yes, my hair may have tinted a slight green but back in the 1980s my mom banned me from doing anything to my hair except getting a perm, so having it turn green was kinda cool in my book.
Ah, but now we are back into our routine; and new rules are being enforced (such as using a tissue for snot and washing hair with shampoo which I assumed they knew all along, but I was wrong).
Now if only I can convince my teenage son to actually grow his hair until the summer, I may just have enough to cut and use as a ponytail!
Melissa Linebrink is a columnist and award-winning part-time reporter for The Chronicle-Telegram. Read her award-winning blog athttp://parenthoodthenewcrazytrain.com. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 329-7243. Follow her on Twitter @MLinebrinkCT.
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